Slump Broken

Ah, now I feel a hundred times better than I did yesterday. It really is amazing how going to the gym and having a good workout can make you feel so GREAT! Yes, my muscles ache and I am tired but my HEART feels so much better. And my children slept late! It has been a fantastic morning.

Slump

I haven't gone to the gym at all this week. I have no motivation whatsoever. I did do a YouTube workout yesterday, which gave the baby something to enjoy while she was NOT taking her nap. But I really have no motivation to go to the gym. I'm always so happy and proud of myself and get an excellent workout once I make it there, but the process of getting out of bed at 5:00 AM, getting ready when I am so tired, and having to pump, is sometimes just too much. I'm in a slump and I don't know how to get out of it.

What do you do when you are in a slump and lack motivation?

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode

For Christmas, my mom pre-ordered for me Crystal Paine's new book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 simple strategies to stress less, sleep more, and restore your passion for life. When I was still newly married, expecting a baby, and living on very little income, her blog, MoneySavingMom, was a true inspiration! I have been following ever since. Her insight into saving money while living on a tight budget and trying to manage a home has been incredibly helpful and encouraging. I was so excited to read her new book because I have always felt like I was living in survival mode, especially after my second baby was born in August.

I couldn't wait to get my pre-ordered copy! I just knew that I would sit down and read the entire book in one day. Yeah, that didn't happen. I got the book at the end of January and it has been sitting on my night stand, mocking me, for almost two months. Until last night, when I finally opened that pretty turquoise, goldenrod, and pink cover. I read the first chapter and had just started the second when my husband came to bed and turned on Star Trek Voyager. Sorry, Mrs. Paine, but my self-discipline goes out the window when I hear that beautiful, whimsical music. I'm such a Voyager nerd (not so crazy about all the other Star Treks, just Voyager) that I can't resist! We were watching the episode when Species 8472 and The Borg are at war and Captain Janeway offers to share their technology with The Borg to defeat the common enemy of Species 8472 in exchange for safe passage through Borg space... *ahem* Pardon me for the digression. I'm such a nerd. Anyway, chapter one and two were about finding what really matters most to you (God, family, health, friends, etc) and setting priorities based on those ideals. It is too easy to get caught up in commitments that you just don't know how to say "no" to or that you offer to do because you are worried about what others think of you that we can lose sight of our priorities.

I was agreeing in my head and thinking that it was all true but that it didn't really apply to me because I'm not that busy. Yes, I spend most of my day caring for my children and sometimes barely get a chance to breathe, but as far as commitments and engagements go, I don't usually have a lot going on. I mean, I have a couple weeks here and there that can get pretty hectic but I felt like I could just skip that part because it didn't really apply to me. Then this morning happened. Baby wouldn't nap, son wanted to read books, I had a long list of things to do this morning, and NOTHING was getting done. I looked at my to-do list at 11:30 and realized that I hadn't even had an opportunity to get one thing crossed off yet! I was just about ready to head to the store when I decided to stay home instead. It was cold outside and we only needed a few things. Was it really worth bundling the children up and rushing in and out of the store for milk, cheese, bananas, bread, borax, and aluminum foil? Sure, my son would have to live without his normal sandwich, banana, and two slices of cheese for lunch, but having something different will help him build character. I realized that even if I am not a super busy supermom, these chapters applied to me. I had to realign my priorities and think about what mattered most, and on this day it was to stay calm and avoid getting overwhelmed.

So now I am really excited to continue this book. I will do a recap/review when I finish!

A Challenge

Yeah, I overspent on groceries last week- by a lot! There were some awesome sales so I was able to stock up on some things but it really put me over budget! I'm sure that it saved me in the long run, but it was still painful. So I challenged myself to ONLY buy staples this week. The only things on this week's shopping list are milk, fruit, and a few household items. I have been pretty good about making a menu plan every week and shopping according to that plan, so I decided to only plan around what we already have on hand this week. Since my husband's favorite meals all include beans, I decided that with the exception of the weekend, all of our meals will come from one giant pot of beans. So here is my menu plan for this week:

Monday: chili with cornbread

Tuesday: chili tacos with salad

Wednesday: leftovers (lentil soup or chili) and salad

Thursday: beans and rice with broccoli

Friday: bean and corn salad

Saturday: potato and turkey bacon casserole 

Sunday: leftovers or supper with friends/relatives 

My tummy might be begging me for a break from all the beans this week, but at least I'll have a happy husband and a happy budget. :-)

How do you try to save on groceries? 

March 17 Goal Check

So I'm not gonna lie. Mondays are rough for me. I love weekends because I get to spend two wonderful days with my husband. No matter how busy we might be, we are together, working as a team. He goes back to work on Monday and we are all trying to get back to normal after two days without our routine. The children are usually fussy and needy, I am tired, and I feel like the day can't end fast enough. Sometimes I face it head on and do really well which sets me up for a good week, but I usually limp through Mondays, fighting to survive until my husband gets home.

I say all this because today is one of those days. It has not been a good day. I didn't get to go and workout this morning and didn't have time to do my own workout at home and I have done horribly on my diet. My old tendencies are slowly creeping back in to my life. I was doing well until both of my children decided not to take their naps. And that right there is what I need to fix- shutting down the second things get tough and plans have to change. 

My hope is that by having a goal check every Monday, I can re-examine what I am doing and think about what I can do to make it happen. So here are my new goals:

1. Complete a Daily Docket each morning. A docket is a form I fill out with daily goals, check lists, a memory verse for me to work on, and a reminder to exercise. In starting new routines I feel like I need something in front of me as a reminder to keep working. We'll see how it works!

2. Learn a new memory verse every week. I have the worst memory of anyone I have ever met. No joke. I forget things almost instantly. I can tell someone a story about something that happened to me or one of my children then have no memory of it ever happening. It is embarrassing how little scripture I have memorized so I want to make a point to work on some memory verses. 

3. Exercise five days a week. This does not have to be an intense workout five days a week, but I need to get active and get moving at least five days. My goal is for three days to be good workouts at the gym and the other two to be something at home, a walk, workout video, exercise ball, resistance bands, running around the yard with the boy, etc. 

4. Wake up no later than 6:30 on week days. I would like to have some time in the morning to do personal devotions (which I have never been very good about doing on a regular basis) and get prepared for the day. I wake up at 5:00 on the mornings I go to the gym but spend most of my extra time trying to wake up. So I need to either wake up a little earlier (yikes!) or stop wasting time and get my devotions done during that time before the gym. 

I will continue working on my previous goals. This week started out badly but that doesn't mean the rest of it has to go to waste! 

Goal Check

Every Monday I will try to post an update on where I stand with my goals. Today is not Monday, obviously, but this is my first day so I thought I would just do a quick post about what I have accomplished so far.

1. Go to to the gym at least three times a week
This has been difficult at times due to illness and injury, but I think that overall I have managed to make going to the gym a habit. At first it was just about getting there and getting more active. Now I am really beginning to make my workouts count. I can feel the difference in my stamina and have noticed a difference in my strength.
2. Eat a healthy, well-rounded breakfast every morning
This so far has been the easiest. I wasn't very good at breakfast before, but I have really enjoyed finding new ways to eat things. Whole wheat pancakes with fruit instead of syrup, two eggs with peppers and onions, oat bran, oatmeal, homemade yogurt, and the list goes on!
3. Eat a healthy lunch every day. Do not overeat! 
Okay, so this one has been tough. For the most part I have done well but I give in to temptation frequently. I'm still not as bad as I was before January, but I still overeat. Too much of anything, no matter how healthy, is a bad thing!
4. Shower and get dressed every morning.
You wouldn't think that this would be a problem, but it has been for me! Being a stay at home mother it is so easy to just get up and stay in my comfy pajamas all day. While I believe that it is okay (and essential!) to do this occasionally, I have found it to be an excuse for being lazy all day. Since I started making it a goal to get dressed EVERY day, I have been much more productive. There have only been a few days in the last month that I have stayed in my jammies and that was when I was sick. I have really enjoyed this new change to my lifestyle. :-)
5. Work on at least one project a day.
I have been using this goal as a way to keep myself from getting bored. Boredom turns into laziness which turns into BINGE EATING! I have been doing BETTER than I did before the goal setting started, but not great. I definitely need to get better about being intentional and planning a project for EVERY DAY.

Okay, that wasn't very quick, but oh well. I'll give you an update on Monday and share with you some of my new goals that I will be aiming for!

Addiction

I am a food addict. I love pizza, burritos, macaroni & cheese, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, meat, cheese, candy (especially of the chocolate and peanut butter varieties), Cheez-Its, tacos, pasta (smothered in different cheeses), popcorn, ice cream (oh me, oh my do I love ice cream), cookies, cheese, soda, cereal, hamburgers, fries, cheese, spaghetti, cheese, cheese, and more cheese! Wow, it's a good thing I just ate a hearty breakfast or that would have been torture. Being a food addict, it really doesn't take much to trigger a binge of monumental proportions. Of course, a reasonable helping of each of those things is not harmful but there are no reasonable helpings for me. I don't just eat a couple of slices of pizza, I eat the whole thing! It never stops at just a handful or two of Cheez-Its, it's half the box. Or if I'm feeling especially emotional (or bored), it's the whole thing! I won't go into any more detail because it is massively embarrassing how much I eat sometimes, but let's just say that if food was alcohol, I would have messed up my life so bad by now that nobody would recognize me. I would be lying in a ditch somewhere.

Food addiction might not ruin your life as drastically as alcohol or drugs, but it is just as real. And food is EVERYWHERE. I have to eat it to survive. There is no escaping temptation. The signs of that addiction show all over my body. I can feel people looking at me, judging me for not having any self-control. But I can't stop. I tell myself that I am going to eat one more handful of that buttery popcorn, but that handful turns into three. Three turns into six and before I know it, I've eaten the entire bowl and I'm heading back to the kitchen to make more. It is depressing, which only makes me want to eat more because I have trained myself to make food my constant companion. My comfort. It doesn't make sense in my head. I know that food will never truly comfort me and I know how I am ruining my body but my heart and stomach ACHE for food. I eat when I am depressed, mad, sick (yeah that's weird), nervous, sad, lonely, anxious, scared, and bored. Boredom is one of my worst enemies.

I have started different diets and lost a lot of weight in the past, but I never get very far and the weight ALWAYS comes back on, sometimes double. I make excuses about my thyroid, or being pregnant, or nursing, or not having time, but they are just that- excuses! This time I have no choice. I can't be the daughter of Christ, wife, and mother that I am meant to be while I am constantly living in survival mode. I want to be intentional about my life. It is time to stop being a hypocrite and show my children that I have self-control.

So what can I do? How do I change my lifestyle and break my addiction to this life-sustaining substance? One step at a time. One tiny little step at a time. It is not going to be easy, but I will break these lifelong habits that have been ruining my health and happiness with small lifestyle changes. Once I feel comfortable in that change, I will move on to my next set of goals.

I will always be tempted by my addiction. However, I can say, "NO!" to those temptations and overcome them, but I can't do it on my own! My husband is on an awesome weight loss journey as well and I know that he can do it, but he doesn't thrive on the personal interactions like I do. So after a failed attempt at making videos (I just don't have the time or skills), I am going to keep this blog. It is my hope that others will choose to do it with me so we can hold each other accountable and inspire one another. Will you join me?

"For those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31